Wizard's Folly
by Belle's Noir
Summary: Wizards expect everything to be big and flashy and magical. A collection of one-shots about when the simplest solution would have been the best one. Fem!Harry. Started chronologically but shots may become out of order as more are written.
1. Chapter 1

Harper listened through the door as Peeves went whooshing away, leaving Filch cursing in his wake, still trying to ignore the insistent tugging of Neville on her dressing gown.

When she was sure they were out of danger, she finally turned to Neville to see what the problem was, only to discover the danger hadn't even started yet.

They weren't actually in a classroom like she'd supposed, they were in a corridor. More specifically, the forbidden third floor corridor.

At least now, they knew why it was forbidden.

Watching them from the other end was the most monstrous dog Harper had ever seen. It was so large it completely filled the space between the floor and the ceiling. Its size was not even the most extraordinary thing about this dog. No, what kept this dog apart from the rest was the fact the beast had _three heads_.

It began moving towards them, slowly but surely. Harper felt like her brain had turned to lead. It was getting closer, its growls getting louder and more deafening. Every instinct was screaming at her to run away as fast as possible. She fumbled for the doorknob behind her but was unable to hold it firmly enough to turn, her hands were too sweaty and shaking too harshly from fear.

This wasn't fair! She didn't want to duel Malfoy, she'd quite happily beat him but did it really need to be at midnight of all times? She really wouldn't even be here if Ron hadn't accepted that duel for her, _she'd_ have told Malfoy to stop being so pathetic and to stop trying to pick a fight with a goddamn _girl_, winning wouldn't make him look like the big man and losing would make him look worse than ever. For him, the risk wasn't worth the gain so why was he so desperate to get her attention?

And now, she was going to die. Thanks to Malfoy's ego and Ron's pride, she was about to become dog food.

The dog was practically on top of them. Harper wondered what she would feel first, claws or teeth. She was just about to close her eyes – if death was coming for her, she didn't want to see its face – when she saw something colourful out of the corner of her eyes. It took her a few seconds to realise what it was.

It was a dog toy. A rather large one, almost the size of her, but it was definitely a dog toy.

Harper felt like she was looking at the creature in front of her with new eyes. It was a dog. Enormous, terrifying and deadly, yes, but still just a dog.

A plan came to her in an instant and she could help but think it was crazy enough that it just might work.

'Otherwise, these are going to be terrible last words.' She mumbled to herself, ignoring the looks she received from the others.

The squared her shoulders and took a determined step forwards. She raised her arm and pointed one threatening finger towards the overly large animal. Everything in the room seemed to freeze, even the dog.

Harper took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes.

'Bad dog!' she said, firmly.

Hermione, Ron and Neville were looking at her like she was mad. However, Harper couldn't help but notice that the dog now seemed wary.

'You are a very bad dog!' She tried to channel Aunt Petunia as much as she could, making sure her voice held as much disapproval as possible.

The dog seemed to curl in on itself ever so slightly. It ears drooping like a scolded puppy.

'This is very naughty!' Harper told it.

The dog whined and took a step back.

_It's working!_ Her mind screamed at her, _it's actually working!_

'Bad dog!' She said again, 'Get in your bed!'

Harper wondered how comical she looked, a four foot nothing little girl telling off the biggest dog to ever exist. She felt a little bit like a superhero, full of strength.

'You heard me,' she said when the dog did nothing but whine and retreat slightly. 'I said get in your bed! NOW!'

She punctuated her shout with a stamp of her little foot. The dog gave a final whimper before it turned around, it claws scrabbling slightly on the stone floor, and ran back to the other end of the corridor. Harper watched in half hysterical amusement as the dog curled up on a giant pile of blankets. The three heads fighting over which pair of eyes the paws would cover.

Harper clapped her hands as though dusting them off and turned back to her friends, a self satisfied smile firmly on her lips. Her friends were looking at her as if she'd just shot someone. Utter shock and disbelief.

'Should we get moving?' She asked, 'It probably won't take Filch long to realise we were near the forbidden corridor when we lost him, he might come back and check.'

That seemed to enough to shake them out of their stupors, at least long enough to get them back to Gryffindor Tower.

Harper began to feel a bit like a shepherd as she guided her friends through the dark corridors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She couldn't understand why they were so stupefied at what had happened.

They lived in an ancient castle, hidden in the highlands of Scotland and studied magic. That wasn't even mentioning the ghosts that roamed the halls, the giant squid in the Black Lake or the kind of creatures that inhabited the Forbidden Forest. Was a large three headed dog really that unusual?

Harper didn't think so, not when she put it like that. She glanced at her friends, Hermione seemed to be coming around quicker than the boys. No doubt logic was reasserting itself now she wasn't actually looking into the jaws of death.

It was the magical raised of the bunch that were having the hardest time with what just happened. Sure, the dog was enormous but it was _still just a dog_. It can be soothed and scolded and praised just like any other pet.

Did wizards expect _everything_ to be big and flashy and dramatic?

Couldn't the simplest solution ever be the best one?

Harper knew she had got lucky tonight. There had been every chance in the world that the dog wouldn't listen to her because she wasn't its owner. But as she didn't have a stick or a steak to throw and distract it, telling it off had been the best option and she was thankful that it had worked.

She had learned a lesson though.

Sometimes the simplest solution seems too easy but that doesn't mean it won't work.

Wizards seemed to overlook the most obvious things and she was going to remember it next time she found herself in a tricky situation.


	2. Chapter 2

Harper sat in the hospital wing, listening to Ron rage at Malfoy. Her and Hermione were trying to assure him that it wasn't his fault, even if he hadn't gotten into a fight with the blonde princess, Malfoy still would have pulled a stunt like this.

'It'll be all over by midnight on Saturday,' said Hermione in another attempt to sooth their friend. It didn't work. He sat bolt upright and broke into a sweat.

'Midnight on Saturday!' He said in a hoarse voice. 'Oh no – oh no – I've just remembered – Charlie's letter was in that book Malfoy took, he's going to know we're getting rid of Norbert.'

After leaving the hospital wing, Harper and Hermione found an empty classroom where they could sit and talk without being overheard.

'Is it too late to change the plan?' Harper asked, biting her lip. It was well known dragons were illegal. It would be bad enough if Hagrid was caught with one but possibly worse for two students, they could be expelled and that would be the end of their futures in the magical world.

Hermione looked equally nervous with just a touch of nauseated added to her expression.

'I think so,' she said mournfully. 'We wouldn't have time to write to Charlie and postpone, there's also no guarantee that someone else will be able to pick up the dragon if his friends don't do it this weekend as they pass by on their way there.'

Harper felt miserable, torn between her desire to help her friend and her desire to stay safe and out of trouble. She sighed.

'Hagrid's need is greater than ours. If this is the only chance to get rid of Norbert then we'll have to risk it. No one knows about the Invisibility cloak, that'll give us an advantage.'

Both girls were anticipating and at the same time dreading Saturday night. It felt like the odds were really stacked against them. If it wasn't bad enough that they were smuggling an illegal dragon out of the country they also had to be on their guard for whatever scheme Malfoy would put in place to catch them out.

Saturday night, after dinner, both girls arrived at Hagrid's hut to go over the plan again. They almost felt sorry for the giant; he really did love his dragon even if the thing was a menace.

As curfew began to approach, the girls decided to head back up to the castle to let people see them going to bed. It wouldn't be much of an alibi if they were caught red handed but it was better than nothing if Malfoy convinced a professor to check on them. If that was the case, they crossed their fingers that the professor would only ask about them in the common room, not come up to the girl's dormitory to see for themselves.

Harper's heart went out to the friendly giant as she watched him weep over his dragon, there was a large crate all ready and waiting for the dragon to go into. Hagrid had even put a teddy bear in there to keep Norbert company on the long flight. Though personally, she didn't think the teddy would survive half an hour let alone the whole distance from there to Romania.

Her mind kept dwelling over everything that could go wrong. It was true that the Invisibility Cloak was a huge advantage in their favour but it wasn't infallible. They were still solid, they could still make noise, and the Cloak might even fall off.

It would be bad enough to be caught wandering the school after curfew, never mind the whole dragon smuggling thing. It would be so much easier if they were just a little bit older, their curfew wouldn't be quite so early and they wouldn't get into nearly as much trouble.

She wondered if she could maybe convince the twins to take the dragon. As third years, their curfew wasn't until ten o'clock – a whole hour later than first year curfew – and teachers were used to catching them wandering. As long as they kept the dragon hidden it wouldn't be so bad for them.

Harper's eyes came to rest on Hagrid and her mind stuttered to a halt. She wanted to smack herself repeatedly in the forehead, why hadn't she seen it before? It was the obvious solution.

'Hagrid,' she said, drawing the attention of her two friends. 'Do you ever help the teachers patrol the castle at night?'

'O' course I do,' said Hagrid, his chest puffed out proudly. 'Even the teachers deserve a night off sometimes, I don' mind pitchin' in.'

'Well, why don't you take Norbert then?' Harper asked, beginning to get excited. 'I'll lend you the Invisibility Cloak to keep the crate covered and if a teacher spots you, you can just say you thought it was your night to do a sweep of the corridors.'

'That's a great idea,' Hermione chimed in, her own excitement starting to show, 'Even if the teachers don't quite believe you, it doesn't matter because you're allowed to be there.'

'Hell, you could even say you popped up to use the bathroom or you thought you saw a light on a classroom when there shouldn't be and decided to check it out yourself. Actually that excuse is better, then you can send the teacher you bump into to go check it out, you can pretend to come home and then double back and carry on.'

Hermione nodded in agreement, a feverish light in her eyes as new ideas began to form.

'You could even go now and wait on the tower, there's a lot of places you could hide up there if the wrong person came or you could just sat you were stargazing. There's less chance of you being stopped in the corridors but it'll be trickier to hide Norbert.'

Hagrid looked thoughtful as he nodded in agreement. Harper felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest. She hadn't realised just how nervous she was about smuggling the dragon out until she didn't have to do it anymore. It felt like she was breathing easy for the first time since the thing hatched.

Why hadn't she thought of it before? If Hagrid was seen in the corridors at night, no one would even blink and there were a thousand and one believable explanations if anyone did question him.

It seemed so obvious now. As long as the dragon stayed out of sight, Hagrid couldn't get into any trouble at all.

Harper sighed at herself as she settled into bed that night, safe in the knowledge that Norbert was going... going... gone. She'd been so desperate to help her friend that she hadn't thought about it logically. It made no sense for her to sneak around when Hagrid was allowed to be out and about.

She sighed again. She was going to have to keep an eye on that self sacrificing streak of hers. It might get her into trouble some day.


	3. Chapter 3

Harper stared up at the flying keys, trying to spot the one they needed to get through the doors. She couldn't help but think this was a rather stupid challenge. The Devil's Snare had been too.

These obstacles felt more like a test than protection.

If they wanted to keep the Philosopher's Stone safe, then why was it possible to get to?

Wouldn't it have made much more sense to just get rid of the Devil's Snare? That way, anyone who dropped unawares would just go splat. Of course, that wouldn't really help here. Snape knew all about the protections and would have had a way to get down safely.

But then it comes to this room, with the winged keys. That was completely insane to Harper. If you had a locked door, impossible to get through with any magically means, then why on earth would you actually put the key in the room with it? Even if it was hidden among others.

Wouldn't it have been better for Dumbledore to keep the key on him at all times, that way only he had access to the Stone?

Or better yet, why didn't Dumbledore just keep the Stone itself in his pocket? Or in a hidden location only he knew?

Telling the entire school that a corridor was forbidden was no better than issuing a written invitation to anyone powerful enough to steal the Stone. They'd know exactly where it was as well as if there had been glowing neon arrows leading the way.

And these protections really weren't up to much, at least so far. Fluffy was pretty good, Harper had to admit, as long as no one knew how to put him to sleep. The Devil's Snare was stupid though. The bluebottle fire spell that Hermione used was pretty advanced but the _Incendio_ spell was taught just before Christmas.

That would enable any first year that could recognise Devil's Snare to get by unscathed.

And they keys! The keys were ridiculous!

_I'll say it again,_ thought Harper, _if you have a locked door, impervious to all magical means of opening then why put the key actually in the room? Decoys were fine but the real thing? And to even leave brooms to help catch it!_

Harper froze and slowly repeated the last thing she'd thought.

'Impervious to all magic means...' She mumbled to herself, looking over at the door. The _wooden_ door.

'Can either of you pick locks?' she asked suddenly. Her friends turned to look at her in surprise.

'I can,' said Ron sounding confused. 'Dad thought it would be a useful skill to know in case there was a time I couldn't use magic.'

Harper was impressed, that was the first logical thing she'd heard since coming into the Wizarding world.

'Why do you ask, Harper?'

Harper looked over at Hermione.

'Isn't it obvious?' She asked, looking between her friends and the door. 'If the door can't be opened with magic then it needs the key but what are the chances it will magically recognise a lock pick instead of the real thing?'

Hermione looked excited now.

'That's true, most wizards don't even know about lock picking, they've never needed to. How come your dad knows, Ron?'

'He's fascinated with Muggles,' the redhead shrugged. 'Thinks it's impressive, all the stuff they can do without magic to help.'

Harper personally thought it was a miracle wizards could do the things they did, even _with_ the help of magic. She wisely kept that thought to herself, though Hermione probably agreed.

'Do you have what you need with you, to pick the lock?' She asked instead.

Ron shrugged again.

'I only started learning this last summer, I can only do it with a hair slide, do either of you have one?'

Hermione looked miserable as she shook her head. Harper didn't have one either.

'We'll have to catch the key then.' Said Hermione, staring at the brooms with deep trepidation. Ron, however, looked a little bit gleeful.

'Or not,' Harper said, making her friends look at her again. 'What do you want to bet that the magic on this door is only concentrated on the lock? To stop it being _unlocked_? It's a shame the hinges are on the other side or we could have just unscrewed it. Do you think the magic stops the door from being knocked down?'

'Probably,' Hermione nodded. 'Using force would be the next logical conclusion if you couldn't find the key, there's probably something to prevent it.'

Again, Harper kept her opinions to herself about wizard's _logical_ conclusions. She knew her teachers were not unintelligent people, it just seemed that everyone relied a bit too much on magic.

'Well, how about this then?' Harper said and, before anyone had a chance to react, she pointed her wand at the wooden door and cried, '_Incendio!_'

The door immediately burst into flames.

Hermione gasped and quickly used the bubblehead charm to protect her and her friends from the thick black smoke being produced as the magical fire ate away at the old wooden door.

It was less than a minute later that there was nothing barring their way other than some charred and slightly smoking pieces of wood. Her friends were speechless.

Harper thought about her teachers again. They weren't unintelligent people. She glanced over her shoulder at the flying keys.

_Maybe the real key _isn't_ actually there? Maybe that's the point of this trap._

But somehow, Harper highly doubted it.


End file.
